Picture this: you send a text message to one of your best friends and you get left on read and don’t receive a reply from her. One hour passes, then two, and then three. This is very unlike your bestie, she usually responds within minutes. Then you start to wonder if your text message rubbed her off the wrong way and she was so upset that she decided not to reply.
So, you go back to your text message and read it from different perspectives. You begin to see how it may have come across as rude. O dear… that was never your intention. Then you start to think about how this may pretty much end your friendship, especially as you now remember the times in the past when your bestie had passed remarks that sounded like she was not interested in being friends with you anymore. Your thoughts start to reinforce the fact that your bestie is not only upset but that at this point she is very mad and can’t take it anymore.
You start getting anxious. Your bestie is the only one who you feel extremely comfortable sharing anything with. She is exceedingly kind and is always there to re-assure you that life is not always as bad as it seems. Oh no! What have you done? How can you ever mend this friendship? Your heart starts to pound. You feel sick and sad at the same time. Four hours have now passed, and you are fully convinced that she is done with you.
You decide to call your bestie to apologize for being so rude, but you are terrified. What if there is an outburst? How would you ever handle that? You take a few deep breaths and then you pick up your phone to call her. She picks up your call and sounds so chirpy and happy, as usual. With a very apologetic voice, you proceed to ask about the text message you sent her. Your friend says “I got your text message and was about to reply when my phone died and I just got it recharged. I haven’t had time to respond”.
You heave a huge sigh of relief. Your negative self-talk had literally sent you into a panic attack. This was not the first time you have had panic attacks for situations that ended up being nonissues, and you know it is not good for your health. This is only one out of many types of negative self-talk that can destroy your health and life, and I’m sure many of you have experienced something similar to this situation, because I know I have.
Negative self-talk prevents you from being the best you can be in almost any area of your life. It can affect your ability to care for yourself through eating nutritiously, exercising and sleeping adequately. Negative self-talk can also affect your relationships and how productive you are at work. Staying in a cycle of negative self-talk can lead to stress, anxiety and depression and can ultimately ruin your mental and physical health.
These days, the field of psychology is focused on helping people reduce anxiety through becoming more mindful of their thoughts and breaking the cycle of negative self-talk. As a Christian, you have even more resources than what the psychologists offer, which can help you become very effective at achieving and maintaining an optimistic mindset, irrespective of the circumstances you face. Two of such resources are God’s word, which helps you to renew your mind about who you are and the peace that is always available to you, and the Holy Spirit, who is always with you to help you remember the right thing to do.
Becoming a more optimistic person, through your thought patterns, is possible but requires trust in God, some work, practice and consistency. Here are four strategies you can use to overcome such situations:
- Know the truth about who you are, based on God’s word, and put up related verses on post-it notes in places where you spend the most time, or even on your phone, to constantly remind yourself of your safety net in Christ, in which you can be immune from life’s circumstances. Negative self-talk is just a lie from the devil, which you should chase away with God’s word.
- Pray about everything. The bible teaches us not to be anxious about anything but to pray about all things. It’s always good practice to say a prayer to God anytime you feel anxiety creeping up on you. When you do this, God’s peace fills your heart and guards it against anxiety or stress from any situation, within you or without. By trusting God, he will also provide wisdom on what actions you can take.
- Surround yourself with positive people and remove toxic ones from your circle of friends. Be deliberate about identifying and choosing who you spend most of your time with, and limit the amount of negative vibes you absorb.
- Become more mindful of your thoughts and practice converting negative self-talk to positive self-talk as soon as they emerge, until it becomes a natural discipline for you. For example, in the incidence with your bestie, for every negative reason you thought of, for why she did not respond, you could come up with several positive reasons for why she did not respond and let those fill up your mind instead. This leaves you less anxious and reduces mental stress.
I hope these strategies help you with breaking any cycles of negative self-talk that you currently find yourself in. Remember, that the outcome of your health and life is based on the moment-by-moment choices you make.
If you enjoyed reading this post, please subscribe to this blog below, to get similar content directly into your email box each week. Thank you!