I believed it for a while. The popular talk about “self-care” was so logical that it made a ton of sense no matter how I looked at it. It often goes like this: “You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others” and if you prefer the metaphorical version, “You need to put on your oxygen mask first before you can help others put theirs on. The self-care cliché is so popular that even the church preaches it. The church’s version is that “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” means “You have to love yourself first before you can love others”.
For a while, I went along with that meaning because it seemed to make sense, until I started to notice growing self-centeredness among those who promoted this teaching. Shortly after I started learning more about self-sacrifice, that meaning was lost on me. Did Christ really talk about self-love? If he did, how did he describe self-love? I searched the scriptures and this is what I found.
Jesus lived on earth as a man and shared in our weaknesses, which included weeping, getting hungry, thirsty, needing rest and sleep, getting tired, angry, and frustrated. Although a major reason he came to earth was to share the good news and perform miracles, he had to take breaks, from the crowds he ministered to, so that he could refresh himself and re-energize for more effective work. Just like you would schedule regular maintenance for your cherished brand-new BMW so that it is optimally efficient for as long as it lasts, similarly, because Jesus was human, he engaged in regular self-care to remain optimally efficient at his work. Jesus’ self-care included times of solitude, conversations with his Father, rest, sleep, nutrition, hydration, exercise, attending social events and relating with his friends. Jesus practiced integrative wellness to be in optimal health.
And then, I asked myself – ‘why Jesus would want to be optimally efficient in doing his work?’ I reckoned that Jesus performed self-care because he wanted to give his Father the absolute best of himself, in being obedient to him, through what he did and how he did it. In other words, at the core of Jesus’ self-care was “Obedience to his Father” and to his Father’s ultimate glory.
A report by Havard defines self-care as paying attention to and supporting one’s own physical and mental health. It describes the importance of self-care to include being able to function well and to be able to take care of others. The report also states that a lot of people do not have time to practice self-care due to high competing demands or because they think it sounds selfish.
Dear friend, I believe you most likely practice some form of regular self-care. Your self-care is selfish or self-centered, if it has YOU at its core, in which case, it is all in vain. So yes, you may reap and be fully satisfied with the benefits of self-care- which includes being physically active, eating well, sleeping well, having a calm mind, regular spas, vacations, and being overall healthy- however, the truth is that these benefits only last for a moment if YOU are at the core.
The underlying reason for putting on your oxygen mask and helping others is not to feel or look good with the mask on. You put on the masks SO THAT you can all get out of the plane ALIVE! With this same analogy, what should be your underlying reason for self-care? The reason should be based on who you are.
You were made for God’s pleasure and for his glory. When you gave your life to Christ, you lost the right to live for yourself. You are now expected to do the good works that your heavenly Father prepared for you to do, even before the creation of the world. You are on earth as God’s steward and to do his will. So like Jesus, at the core of your self-care should be “obedience to the Father”.
Therefore, you should perform self-care SO THAT you can efficiently obey the Father, through loving your neighbor as yourself, by your words and your actions. In essence, “… as you love yourself” means speaking to and treating others the way you would like to be spoken to or treated. As you practice self-care, the by-product of a healthy life, becomes yours in the process.
Your underlying reason for self-care is SO THAT you and those whom you love, even though you all die, can leave this earth ALIVE into eternity with Christ. Hopefully, it is now clear why you put on the ‘oxygen mask of self-care’. Don’t let your self-care be in vain!
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References 1. Havard Health